Honest and sincere appreciation is the most effective tool used sparingly by the majority of people. The effectiveness of this tool has been undermined by many due to various reasons. However, the people who have used it efficiently have done wonders in their personal and professional lives. This topic has a full chapter dedicated to it in Dale Carnegie famous book How to Win Friends and Influence People. The author has used many examples to show why it means a lot to give honest and sincere appreciation in order to get best results out of your relationship or career. Beyond a doubt, this is the most effective tool you can use to impress people, change the situations, steer the results in your favor and—most importantly—make people think highly of you.
There are many issues when it comes to appreciating someone. While your inner self might be thumping out loud to go ahead and appreciate, the other part of your mind holds back you so strongly that you lose all courage at the time. The main reasons for this include:
- fear of rejection
- thinking it is cheap
- comparing it with flattery
- worrying what others might think
- social pressure
- thinking it’s useless
- thinking it might be out of context
- thinking it’s needless
- the “I am the best” philosophy
This may not happen when you tend to appreciate:
- a beautiful car
- some monument
- a TV show, etc.
Yes,you tend to appreciate anything or everything except human beings. Why?
Aren’t they worthy of it? Well, they are very much worthy of it.
So, what holds you back? The mindset, of course
While many authors including Dale Carnegie would tell you why you should appreciate someone, the biggest problem I have seen is that people don’t recognize triggers and always fail on very basic art of “How to Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.” This is a 10-step procedure which help you recognize your triggers and appreciate a person.
Trigger – Many things that happen in our life are normal or monotonous. Seldom do we see, experience or feel something which is different. A trigger is something which gives us a feeling of awe. Develop a habit of recognizing it, because this will be your most effective weapon in years to come.
How to Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation
- De-clutter your mind.
- Think of the person and not any of the negatives about him/her.
- Drop all your apprehensions and remain positive.
- Proceed further and kill the voice which says “no.”
- Tell yourself, “I should, because this is just amazing.”
- Tell the person that you appreciate the act.
- Tell them how it made you feel good.
- Try to relate it to an incident and how the act has surpassed all expectations.
- Congratulate and tell them that it was beyond expectations.
- Thank them again for the much-appreciated thing.
When I see something good by any team member or someone from a different team, I make sure to be positive and appreciate the act. I forget any negatives about the person or bad experiences I have had with the person. My mind tries hard to remind me of bad things, but I tell myself that I should definitely show appreciation. I do that not only to appreciate the person, but also to make sure that the he keeps in the best spirits in future. I tell him that he has done an amazing thing which is way beyond my expectations. I congratulate him and tell him how this will influence things in the time to come. I thank him again and tell him to keep the good things coming in future.
I have considered a scenario which you will encounter in your corporate life. However, the basic would remain same if:
- You want to appreciate you loved ones.
- You want to appreciate a good service.
- You want to appreciate some good act.
- You want to appreciate something which is out of this world.
Try It. It is the best weapon you can have in your arsenal.