Being treated as an expert or someone "on the inside" makes people feel really freakin’ awesome about themselves. So rather than asking for a job, ask for advice.

A couple of friends asked me recently for help crafting introductory, networking emails as part of their job search. They were looking to write to people they either didn’t know or with whom they had only a loose, one-off connection.

Both of my friends had the same uneasy tone: “Eh, I don’t know if I should write them. Isn’t it kind of random? Wouldn’t I be bothering them? I don’t know…”

I cut them off mid-worry. It’s not only perfectly fine, but a good idea to occasionally reach out to strangers in the business community. Making new friends in this surreptitious way takes a bit of strategy, but it always begins with one indisputable fact:

Most people like being asked for their advice or opinion.

Being treated as an expert or someone “on the inside” with networking powers makes people feel really freakin’ awesome about themselves. But some of those people — OK, most of them — have important jobs with hectic schedules. They want to impart all they know, but they have to do it on their time.

Let’s say you’re after a job at an accounting firm, and you have a friend who’s friends with a vice president at the company. Here’s one way to frame your email (it’s fictitious, by the way):

Hi Sheryl,

My name is Danny Rubin, and I’m Don Baxter’s friend. I just graduated from Big State U with a degree in business, and I’m starting my search for a job in the accounting world. I focused my studies in auditing, and I see that’s a large part of what Thompson & Company does.

I am curious if you have a few minutes to talk with me either by phone or in person. It would be great to learn more about Thompson &Company and also get a sense of other CPA firms here in town.

I’m happy to work around your schedule. If you’re willing, please let me know a day and time that works for you.

Also, I am attaching my resume to this e-mail.

Thanks in advance.

Nothing fancy. Nothing flashy. I got right down to business, but in a polite, appropriate way. I also made sure to attach my resume (no harm in that) and tell Sheryl I can meet when it works for her.

Here’s the post important piece: I’m not asking Sheryl to hire me. I’m asking to meet her. If a job opportunity arises from our conversation, great. But my initial goal is to make a new connection that could open doors for me.

What are the possible outcomes to my e-mail?

1. Sheryl never responds. My rule of thumb is to wait two full business days and then try again. If you still haven’t gotten a reply, let it go.

2. She writes back and says she’s happy to do a quick phone call. Research the firm, do a little LinkedIn digging and have some questions ready about the company and industry.

3. She agrees to meet in person, whether over lunch or at her office. Awesome. Do everything stated in #2. Then shower, brush your teeth and wear something nice.

It’s rare that a person — no matter how busy or self-important — won’t find time to sit down with a 20-something and share their knowledge. Nearly everyone loves being asked to talk about their background, expertise or connections, especially in their niche field.

We love feeling valued. It’s a defining human characteristic, and one you should leverage in the pursuit of your next great job.

Danny Rubin is a member of the Brazen Contributor Network.


  1. EDSI

    This is very practical and helpful advice for job seekers who are hoping to reach out to a loose connection or a friend of a friend. It’s sincere, polite and considerate, and people do respond well to feeling valued for their knowledge and skills.

  2. Anonymous

    This technique can also be used effectively not just to learn about a company, but to learn about a career or the field you are considering before you spend time and money pursuing it.

  3. Cher Hale

    Danny, I totally appreciate the advice. Whenever I want to meet someone, I get really worried that I won’t be able to provide value to them. But, you’re right. The value is all in looking up to them as possible mentors and flattering them.

  4. Zsa Zsa

    Feeling valued really is a human characteristic that we should leverage. Sometimes we are too busy finding new business that we forget how to make our clients/customers feel valued!

  5. Stewart J.Miller

    Who says that it has to be a 20-something? There are other age groups that are just as needy.

  6. Stacey Hanke

    That is a great way to network for possible job opportunities. It is a challenge to influence a company to Hire YOU! Also, the HOT topic I’m being asked from my clients is tips for that next step – the interview. With every step you take towards a new job or opportunity it is important to communicate clearly to deliver your message.

  7. Ambrose Li

    This is what graphic designers (and design students) call an informational interview, isn’t it.

    • Amy Chin

      This is what everyone calls an informational interview. I wonder why Danny left out that label in this article.

  8. Steff @ ex back

    Hi Danny,

    I think you have given us the outline but not the details. In fact, I think the meeting is rather awkward because the connection is not yet established. If I were to do this, just what do I say during the meeting, you know what I mean? It’s not very actionable at this point. What would you suggest?

  9. kobe

    glad to see your share destination wedding dresses

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